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IS it right to cling on to past joys or should I just grow the hell up and consign my video games to the bin and embrace the wild ride of crosswords and kale?
When I was a wee impressionable turd of the earth, all snot and turned down socks, it wasn't a particularly intricate task to keep me ticking with a smile on my face.
I had a basic child criteria that needed meeting.
From begrudgingly flapping out of bed like rum full tarantula, and waiting for my mental pistons to fire into some sort of co-ordination, my mind was always wondering what was for tea (third meal of the day to you southerners).
Not sure why I was looking forward to it so much as it was often not much more than violent homicide in a pan, beaten into submission by Crisp 'n Dry. What can I say, maybe just the primitive stomach driven thoughts of male youth. Nothing's changed, one of the first daily questions even in my 40's is 'What's for tea?'
And I can still never understand how invading the kitchen to murder a bowl of Frosties isn't the first thing on people's mind. And, even since junior days, the army of females, generally (if that's still a thing nowadays), that refuse any thought of breakfast (first meal of the day to you southerners).
I mean floating into school or the workplace (if that's still a thing nowadays) without any sustenance burning away? That's beyond my limited brain cell's capabilities.
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North London Flakies
It was a foreign concept at school not to like or play some form of sport. Thankfully I did, by the age of 8 or 9 at least, follow football and therefore was my duty to swear allegiance to a well-known team. Turned out to be some North London flakies.
You could always tell the kids that hated any type of sport but were forced to play for fear of social banishment. They were the kids looking forlorn in a muddy goalmouth, wearing Jeans and Clark's shoes on weekends down the park. They'd be far happier at home reading Lord of the Rings or having a go at replicating the latest Blue Peter monstrosity.
And it should be stated that those kids often go far. And it's nice to see a surge in nerds. Not to sound derogatory at all, I think it's about time and we should keep them onside and look out for them. (Look at that, a sporting term aimed at non-sporting people. Poor show Matthew, poor show).
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I fell hard for Capcom's Playstation classic, Resident Evil
But, without doubt, what revved my pubescent engine more than anything back then was the rise of video games. Butterflies would flutter at the thought of getting my mitts on a new game.
I used to flick through the glossy pages of SEGA Magazine to look for the previews. I never cared much for the writing, which is quite regretful now but I'd just focus on the main points and stare quite helplessly at the in-game pictures and try in vain to understand various terms (pre-rendered backgrounds meant as much to me as offside did to our Jean-clad goalkeepers with J J R Tolkien stuffed in their back pockets).
I loved the way worlds could be created from imagination. It's not lost on me that what the readers found in the turning of pages I found on a scrolling screen.
"Nice to see a surge in nerds"
I was cannoned into the pixelated world head first. I started getting some consoles and games under my belt. The Hedgehog started it – The Blue Blur. 1991 my eyes were widened. Sonic was with the world (and still is but as evolved as he is now, nothing can really replicate the feeling of the original and its immediate sequels).
His mates would turn up later in Tails and Knuckles and he did constant battle with moustachioed bloater Dr Robotnik and subsequently saved lots of cutesy animals.
He smashed around the zones of Greenhill, Marble, Mystic Cave, Oil Ocean, Spring Yard, Starlight, Chemical Plant (which had the same time sensitive claustrophobic water element as Labyrinth zone), Hydrocity and Lava Reef to name a few.
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The 16-Bit beast, the Mega Drive. All hail the king.
Further along my button bashing education I discovered flawless victories and fatalities, awesome soundtracks to side scrolling beat 'em ups, insane slam dunks from world famous cartoon basketball stars, being chased around a supersized mansion with zombie dogs chomping at my heals, kicking ass and chewing bubble gum while slaying Pig Cops with a pump action smokin' shotgun.
I was certainly knew nothing when it came to the wonder of graphical wizardry but if I could shoot it, race it, smack it, score it, ogle it, dunk it or call it vile names then I was in my pocket of escapism.
Video games' tentacles were entwining around my impressionable brain cells. And in some capacity – they're hanging on for dear life.
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A toy version of Street Fighter 2's RYU
I was often told to grow up and leave these games alone, 'They're for kids and they rot your brain'. I suppose I was meant to be doing something more advanced for my teenage years like gargling cheap cider and setting fire to my lungs with delicious Hamlet cigars in the park copping disapproving looks from tutting pensioners (I did find time for that).
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The NES, an 8-Bit classic
I never read, back then. Feeling a 6 button control pad lightly sweating in my palms instead of entering worlds laid out with inky curls on fluttering pages. I just wanted a different way to absorb stories.
Games could be insanely expensive too, especially the big ones. £50 - £60 quid to find out if a Japanese warrior was capable of smashing the hell out a flaunting bit of skirt from China (sorry, an attractive Asian lady) or a wild green mutated man-beast from Brazil (yes, wild, green mutated man-beast) could out fox a stretchy gangly man from India.
Man we didn't half bang those buttons.
The evolution continues for millions worldwide scrabbling for a bit of time on MarioKart, Fortnite or C.O.D.
The positives are there for all to see though. For some they are possibly the main or only way to effectively communicate or socialise. My disabled nephew would be lost without them.
"A different way to absorb stories"
I don't know about you but every now and again it's good to rummage for your out of date Pringles, sit in a darkened room, let your B.O evolve and give it hell for leather to some cheeky monsters. After all they're not going to shoot themselves.
To be honest, video games have always made up a part of me. A much smaller part today mind, but I suppose I must have done some form of growing up because the slices of my mind have increased but are more spread out than the 1990's.
I think hanging on to some parts of the past is important because however old we are, we are still us. Sometimes staying the same is as good as change.
Classic Mega Drive Cartridges
Everybody knew that with any game that suddenly froze or refused to work correctly, then the most obvious solution was to give it a violent blow underneath.
Problem solved.
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Age is but a number
The stigma that games are just for kids is now perhaps a worn out way of thinking.
They're here to stay, so play away.
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